This week I enter into my 40s. My big birthday feels momentous and perfectly ordinary at the same time.
As a child I can’t recall ever thinking past being in my late 30s. Perhaps, at the time of me wondering about the future, my mother was nearing 40. Regardless of the reason, before I turned 40, I hoped for a family and to have some sort of successful, artsy career.
Age Forty and after, I come up blank. No childhood expectations or dreams. I feel like I am diving off a cliff with no preconceived notions or pressures. It is exhilarating.
There is nothing like a big birthday to make you reflect your life, and with that I am no exception.
My first decade, allowed me to learn the ways of the world, social graces, and literally how put one foot in front of the other. My teenage years were was spent tackling a chronic, autoimmune disease and dealing with teenage angst. In my twenties, I was still finding my footing, graduating from college, moving to DC, finding my life-long friends, and eventually meeting my husband. Then, my thirties were are all about babies: infertility, miscarriages, (very fortunately) child-rearing.
So, where does that leave my FORTIES? I am not exactly sure, but I do know it is blissfully wide open, without preconceived notions. No more teenage angst, my health is good, and I know who I am. I look forward to focusing on myself, my art, and my family and seeing where this next decade leads!
Hmm..now that leaves me with a very important question…what kind of birthday cake do I want???